i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
