you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
