so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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