it hurts more in the daytime
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
