stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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