You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
