you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
