summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
