He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
