Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
