Do you still have your period?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
