Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
how does that bad decision feel?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize