well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
