Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
