some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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