I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
