I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize