I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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