Whod you bang
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
