I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
