we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize