Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize