Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
