All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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