I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
