I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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