what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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