Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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