you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
