then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
