Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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