Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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