Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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