nut hugger
I wish my penis had an off switch
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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