im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
