Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
