then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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