is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
