WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
