my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I need to calm my uterus...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
