what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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