Whod you bang
im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
how can u be prego again
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
