I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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