I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize