having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Pants are for mortals
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
