You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
