The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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