There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
someone owes me an orgasm
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
did i just pee glitter
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
