I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
