I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
