how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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