I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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