i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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