He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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