I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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