he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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