Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
