Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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