The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
