So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
