He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Did I show you my penis last night?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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