One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
