Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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