i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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