i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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