I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize